can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
