why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
