So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
