Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
