If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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