After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
