Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
