I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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