Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
