Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
