The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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