you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
