No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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