So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
