also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
