At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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