Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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