He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
