if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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