I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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