Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
