better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
