I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
