Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
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