i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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