I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Randomize
