dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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