Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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