i don't like sucking hair
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
it was like eating out sand paper
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
