So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
