'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
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