She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
