he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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