All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
