idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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