I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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