i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize