every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Enjoy the penises
Randomize