I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
