She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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