well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Randomize
