saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
