dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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