He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
