DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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