it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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