just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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