bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
