This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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