Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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