Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Randomize
