uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
