We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Two words: blizzard sex
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
