your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
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