so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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