at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
