Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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