So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
we're making bets on your personal life
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
