awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize