sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
