That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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