I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
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