There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
