did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
