we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize